I know it’s a bit of a longer post than I usually write, but I hope you guys make it through!
It contains some warm Siberian insights from me and a give away of love on the exit to grab along with you :-)
So, all my life I’ve been looking for a source of love.
At first with my parents. I was always nice (most of the times), tried to entertain them and be pretty.
Then get best grades in school, graduate from college with honors and make my town proud of me.
You may win a popularity contest in school and that feels nice a few days.
Your parents do love you by default, yes.
But practically, neither of sources brings a stable always-emotionally-comforting flow of love, I know you are pursuing. It’s rather a flickering flame.
We are not supposed to doubt our parents’ love.
But still we can’t help but wonder if they did love us yesterday more than they do today. And wonder what we can do better tomorrow in order to trigger their constant display of love.
The actual visible display of parents’ love is what has the main contribution into formation of our characters and the way we’ll be building our relationships with other people in an adult life.
My parents made me a restless overachiever and a sleepless truth-seeker. I’m so thankful to them for that.
Even though they had no intention to turn me into a philosopher, but rather wished to see me in a stable office career and be happily married someday.
When I grew up enough to think and understand, I told my parents that I loved them (no matter what).
I tell it to one of them in person every time I have the chance and keep saying it till now to the other one in my mind.
Realizing that you love your parents and letting them know about it (while you still can) means that you have enough wisdom to tie out with all your old issues and let them go.
The moment you let go of that reflection, you let go of your ego that fetters your feet on the road of true self-development.
As soon as I re-joined my parents’ fan club, it brought comfort.
And then I still felt capable and willing to give and receive much more love ahead.
That took me to the next stage – believing it was important to find love with another person – you know, the one you might fall in love with and choose to be your life partner.
But in fact, I quickly discovered that romantic love was the least stable and most rocky source of love one can rely on.
Loving another person is great! But
Unfortunately, when you potentially view yourself as a half that just needs another matching half to enter a bliss of being (and fix some other stuff in your life along the way), you might manage and have a few blissful moments along that way, yes .
But you won’t avoid facing a void of your unmet emotional needs at times when you and your half hit misunderstandings, slow down the pace of passion due to ego issues, living expenses and scattered laundry clothes, or simply don’t deliver on each others’ initial expectations of happiness.
It’s great to fall in love and pray for a fulfilling union.
But love to each other alone won’t keep you together a long way and give you a stable flow
of emotional comfort, because you must love other things at the same time with that primary love.
Those that will actually help you continue together and keep you loving each other longer.
These must be the hobbies of your two – some day-time fulfilling career, or activities you should do away from each other for a couple hours a day, or some shared incentive, like a common business or growing kids.
Take a ten days vacation off everything, stay together at home without going out, or doing any of your favorite separate activities.
Just sit there and stare at each other. And you will see how easily these moments will let you pick up a silly fight, or forget the excitements of the first day you met.
So I personally checked and accounted – love of your second half won’t give you a stable emotional comfort you seek from love for life.
It’s rather a nutritive and desirable supplement to other things.
Then comes love to your children. You know it is unconditional, infinite and not questionable.
But love to a child is not a stable serene flow that always keeps your emotions in comfort either.
It is stress of thinking what best you could possibly provide your children with, worry of their safety and health, worry of their future.
If you raise a child without the love support of your second half, or an unconditional visual love aid of your parents, or a rewarding hobby-like job, you will bitterly discover you are having the times of frustration.
You can’t handle irritability at times and you end up exploding at the people you love… While they are expecting a stable and comforting flow of love from you.
On the verge of my twenties I thought everything that was thinkable, stopped thinking and reached a dose of enlightment. It came naturally and so effortlessly and helped me with the following ideas.
I let go of expectations that somebody must make me happy, or deliver on something.
I let go of adjusting my self-esteem according to the amount of love other people were giving me a day.
I accepted everyone the way he or she is, for the mere idea that there is a unique cause behind each soul – in whatever visible shape it is present right now in front of your eyes – whether pleasant to you, or not.
I let go of judging or comparing people to those who I thought were better.
Not because I wanted to give myself extra credit for being so cool. You know, somehow it all came rather naturally, like a realization from without.
I suddenly felt I don’t really know anymore what it feels like to be offended, resentful or angry at someone.
I just felt I don’t really have enemies or someone I could hate.
I somehow knew that those people who tried to get me on my nerves simply didn’t get enough love themselves from someone before.
For only the shortage or abundance of love that each soul potentially carries with itself, makes it take a certain living form and life conditions in each physical incarnation.
If you see bitter people around, it means they lacked love either before or in the present embodiment in their earlier years.
The less love a person is capable of receiving and giving – the more at the beginning of his or her soul’s journey he or she is.
And the more love one is able to receive and share – the more that soul advanced on a road of its spiritual evolution.
There are no bad-love or good-love people – there are only souls on different stages of their developmental expedition.
The level of unconditional love.
The state of love that you reach not through other people – your parents, partners or children – they are just the precious rays of it. But through the connection with the main source – Universal source of Love.
-giving without asking back
are not just cliché utopias.
When you effortlessly put those notions into practical life, you actually give your soul a massive detox and prepare it to become a more receptive conduct of that Universal Love.
When the Universe notices you are ready, something in you will clicks subtly, without any credit or effort of yours.
And you will suddenly start to catch yourself feeling like a medium of some happy bright light that came no idea where from.
But you just won’t help but feeling happy – everything around is grey with falling economy, but you are positive and optimistic like a happy fool; everybody around complains about their problems and you just can’t hide the smile and feel you want to come grab everyone and give them a hug and a reassurance.
There you go – you found a steady source of love – the Universal one- and you became a conduct of it.
That source, if you stay connected (practicing the above mentioned simple list), will always give you a peaceful emotional comfort and keep you on a constant love refill.
Universe wants to share its love with people- there is so much of it that it bursts. But people can’t all easily receive it – the receptacles may unfortunately be blocked with toxins of rivalry and negativity.
So the Universe simply searches the ways and shares its love with others through the people who are capable of detoxing, opening up and receiving it.
The other sources of love you’ll discover then all along the way will be rather unexpected, magical and explosive.
You’ve been chasing a committed relationship with unavailable person – now it will seem a funny child’s play to you. (Haha check my old articles about chasing an emotionally unavailable :-) )
You will find love with other person effortlessly, if that’s what you want, and it won’t have to be a struggle any longer.
Universe loves giving us presents, it just needs a chance and a means to transfer them.
Universal love will give you a steady blissful flow.
And it will help you raise your kids in patience and acceptance, forgive/forget and love your aging parents, laugh and hand out a wink and a joke when your fellows try to bug you.
And you know what, with that attunement of yours, others won’t even be interested to bug you anymore, because you are creating such a positive protective aura around yourself that is simply all leakproof.
Let alone mentioning that being a conduct of Universal love will
-make you look decades younger than your actual age
-have insufficient health concerns
– always end up in the right place and the right time
-and simply laugh effortlessly.
Be endlessly thankful for it, because for many people a simple smile is an effort.
But don’t go marvel at yourself for that attitude. Be thankful to the Source that is supplying You and never lose a connection with it.
and P.S. I initially intended my blog to be all about relationships. Relationships dramas were the first articles I posted here.
And then I threw a couple of bonus (experimental) posts on my pursuits of spirituality, love and enlightment.
You know, I was happily surprised to discover that nobody gave much thought to my posts on problematic relationships :-) Instead people crowded my humble posts on a search of enlightened living with some altruistic ideas (which, to be honest with you, I care more about than the relationships issues) :-)
So, I guess, just stay true to what you want to write about, because people would connect best with what you are more interested in, yourself!
Good Note: people nowadays don’t care much about relationships articles anymore, we’ve probably read them all already.
The new actual idea now is taking Love onto a new level. And I’m happy You share this, guys!
Love ya all and thank you so much for visiting and making through my little musings till the end