~ New Age Love. I Captured The Ignis Fatuus! ~

Image by dhannte/morguefile

I know it’s a bit of a longer post than I usually write, but I hope you guys make it through!

It contains some warm Siberian insights from me and a give away of love on the exit to grab along with you :-)

So, all my life I’ve been looking for a source of love.

At first with my parents. I was always nice (most of the times), tried to entertain them and be pretty.

Then get best grades in school, graduate from college with honors and make my town proud of me.

You may win a popularity contest in school and that feels nice a few days.

Your parents do love you by default, yes.

But practically, neither of sources brings a stable always-emotionally-comforting flow of love, I know you are pursuing. It’s rather a flickering flame.

We are not supposed to doubt our parents’ love.

But still we can’t help but wonder if they did love us yesterday more than they do today. And wonder what we can do better tomorrow in order to trigger their constant display of love.

The actual visible display of parents’ love is what has the main contribution into formation of our characters and the way we’ll be building our relationships with other people in an adult life.

My parents made me a restless overachiever and a sleepless truth-seeker. I’m so thankful to them for that.

Even though they had no intention to turn me into a philosopher, but rather wished to see me in a stable office career and be happily married someday.

When I grew up enough to think and understand, I told my parents that I loved them (no matter what).

I tell it to one of them in person every time I have the chance and keep saying it till now to the other one in my mind.

Realizing that you love your parents and letting them know about it (while you still can) means that you have enough wisdom to tie out with all your old issues and let them go.

If you can’t forgive your folks for something ancient and still keep pitying yourself, it means you keep nourishing your delusive self-importance and the idea of ‘me – misunderstood poor thing’.

The moment you let go of that reflection, you let go of your ego that fetters your feet on the road of true self-development.

As soon as I re-joined my parents’ fan club, it brought comfort.

And then I still felt capable and willing to give and receive much more love ahead.

Other sources!

That took me to the next stage – believing it was important to find love with another person – you know, the one you might fall in love with and choose to be your life partner.

But in fact, I quickly discovered that romantic love was the least stable and most rocky source of love one can rely on.

Loving another person is great! But

the one who solely counts on a romantic partner for happiness and emotional comfort is the one who is more prone to bitter disappointments and loneliness he or she is so trying to avoid.

Unfortunately, when you potentially view yourself as a half that just needs another matching half to enter a bliss of being (and fix some other stuff in your life along the way), you might manage and have a few blissful moments along that way, yes .

But you won’t avoid facing a void of your unmet emotional needs at times when you and your half hit misunderstandings, slow down the pace of passion due to ego issues, living expenses and scattered laundry clothes, or simply don’t deliver on each others’ initial expectations of happiness.

It’s great to fall in love and pray for a fulfilling union.

But love to each other alone won’t keep you together a long way and give you a stable flow 

of emotional comfort, because you must love other things at the same time with that primary love.

Those that will actually help you continue together and keep you loving each other longer.

These must be the hobbies of your two – some day-time fulfilling career, or activities you should do away from each other for a couple hours a day, or some shared incentive, like a common business or growing kids.

Take a ten days vacation off everything, stay together at home without going out, or doing any of your favorite separate activities.

Just sit there and stare at each other. And you will see how easily these moments will let you pick up a silly fight, or forget the excitements of the first day you met.

So I personally checked and accounted – love of your second half won’t give you a stable emotional comfort you seek from love for life.

It’s rather a nutritive and desirable supplement to other things.

Then comes love to your children. You know it is unconditional, infinite and not questionable.

But love to a child is not a stable serene flow that always keeps your emotions in comfort either.

It is stress of thinking what best you could possibly provide your children with, worry of their safety and health, worry of their future.

If you raise a child without the love support of your second half, or an unconditional visual  love aid of your parents, or a rewarding hobby-like job, you will bitterly discover you are having the times of frustration.

You can’t handle irritability at times and you end up exploding at the people you love… While they are expecting a stable and comforting flow of love from you.

On the verge of my twenties I thought everything that was thinkable, stopped thinking and reached a dose of enlightment. It came naturally and so effortlessly and helped me with the following ideas.

I let go of all the negative emotions towards anybody.

I let go of expectations that somebody must make me happy, or deliver on something.

I let go of adjusting my self-esteem according to the amount of love other people were giving me a day.

I accepted everyone the way he or she is, for the mere idea that there is a unique cause behind each soul – in whatever visible shape it is present right now in front of your eyes – whether pleasant to you, or not.

I let go of judging or comparing people to those who I thought were better.

Not because I wanted to give myself extra credit for being so cool. You know, somehow it all came rather naturally, like a realization from without.

I suddenly felt I don’t really know anymore what it feels like to be offended, resentful or angry at someone.

I just felt I don’t really have enemies or someone I could hate.

I somehow knew that those people who tried to get me on my nerves simply didn’t get enough love themselves from someone before.

For only the shortage or abundance of love that each soul potentially carries with itself, makes it take a certain living form and life conditions in each physical incarnation.

If you see bitter people around, it means they lacked love either before or in the present embodiment in their earlier years.

The less love a person is capable of receiving and giving – the more at the beginning of his or her soul’s journey he or she is.

And the more love one is able to receive and share – the more that soul advanced on a road of its spiritual evolution.

There are no bad-love or good-love people – there are only souls on different stages of their developmental expedition.

Once you realize it, it takes you to the next and the final level of our ‘ultimate’ love quest.

The level of unconditional love.

The state of love that you reach not through other people – your parents, partners or children – they are just the precious rays of it. But through the connection with the main source – Universal source of Love.

Techniques of

-accepting

– forgiving

-giving without asking back

are not just cliché utopias.

When you effortlessly put those notions into practical life, you actually give your soul a massive detox and prepare it to become a more receptive conduct of that Universal Love.

When the Universe notices you are ready, something in you will clicks subtly, without any credit or effort of yours.

And you will suddenly start to catch yourself feeling like a medium of some happy bright light that came no idea where from.

But you just won’t help but feeling happy – everything around is grey with falling economy, but you are positive and optimistic like a happy fool; everybody around complains about their problems and you just can’t hide the smile and feel you want to come grab everyone and give them a hug and a reassurance.

There you go – you found a steady source of love – the Universal one- and you became a conduct of it.

That source, if you stay connected (practicing the above mentioned simple list), will always give you a peaceful emotional comfort and keep you on a constant love refill.

Universe wants to share its love with people- there is so much of it that it bursts. But people can’t all easily receive it – the receptacles may unfortunately be blocked with toxins of rivalry and negativity.

So the Universe simply searches the ways and shares its love with others through the people who are capable of detoxing, opening up and receiving it.

The other sources of love you’ll discover then all along the way will be rather unexpected, magical and explosive.

You’ve been chasing a committed relationship with unavailable person – now it will seem a funny child’s play to you.  (Haha check my old articles about chasing an emotionally unavailable :-) )

You won’t need to chase relationships anymore, they will start chasing you!

You will find love with other person effortlessly, if that’s what you want, and it won’t have to be a struggle any longer.

Universe loves giving us presents, it just needs a chance and a means to transfer them.

Universal love will give you a steady blissful flow.

And it will help you raise your kids in patience and acceptance, forgive/forget and love your aging parents, laugh and hand out a wink and a joke when your fellows try to bug you.

And you know what, with that attunement of yours, others won’t even be interested to bug you anymore, because you are creating such a positive protective aura around yourself that is simply all leakproof. 

Let alone mentioning that being a conduct of Universal love will

-make you look decades younger than your actual age

-have insufficient health concerns

– always end up in the right place and the right time

-and simply laugh effortlessly.

Be endlessly thankful for it, because for many people a simple smile is an effort.

But don’t go marvel at yourself for that attitude. Be thankful to the Source that is supplying You and never lose a connection with it.

 


and P.S. I initially intended my blog to be all about relationships. Relationships dramas were the first articles I posted here.

And then I threw a couple of bonus (experimental) posts on my pursuits of spirituality, love and enlightment.

You know, I was happily surprised to discover that nobody gave much thought to my posts on problematic relationships :-) Instead people crowded my humble posts on a search of enlightened living with some altruistic ideas (which, to be honest with you, I care more about than the relationships issues) :-)

So, I guess, just stay true to what you want to write about, because people would connect best with what you are more interested in, yourself!

Good Note:  people nowadays don’t care much about relationships articles anymore, we’ve probably read them all already.

The new actual idea now is taking Love onto a new level. And I’m happy You share this, guys!

Love ya all and thank you so much for visiting and making through my little musings till the end

Author: Bagande

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51 thoughts on “~ New Age Love. I Captured The Ignis Fatuus! ~

  1. “But you just won’t help but feeling happy – everything around is grey with falling economy, but you are positive and optimistic like a happy fool; everybody around complains about their problems and you just can’t hide the smile and feel you want to come grab everyone and give them a hug and a reassurance”.

    I like the above quote. It’s how I feel for the most part, with the exception of a off day once in awhile. Before I worried people would think I was a bit “simple” but I’ve decided that’s okay! Although, I have to say I don’t want to hug EVERYONE I meet!

  2. Thank you for the insightful comment! Yes, puppets and souvenirs images were intentional ;) And sister, i am Living the experience of what i am writing about here, ultimately! All to a detail <3
    Thank you so much for stopping by today <3

    • I hope I didn’t offend you…. I too really love the way you weaved your message of love from how you learned it to how you’re living it. I’ve thought about it all day… much gratitude.

  3. Sofia,
    I love that you started this post off as a relationship post. I don’t think we would have been able to grasp the depth of thought without connecting to your thoughts on love on a personal level. It is like you are taking us step by step into the heart of love. I am amazed by your insight, wisdom, and experience. You must be a very old soul.
    I have heard that there are four ways to enlightenment–quick and easy; slow and easy; quick and hard; slow and hard. Sounds like you are one of the lucky “quick and easy” types.
    <bow>Thank you for sharing this life-changing information. I will need to return to this page over and over to check my progress and remind me of the path. </bow>

    • Thank You, my dear soul Kozo! :) I’m always so happy to find your comment on my thoughts! I believe soul has an age and i felt rather ancient since my early childhood :) honestly!
      But no, that path wasn’t quick and easy for me, i’ve walked and stumbled a lot :) Keep in touch for our insights exchange! Tight hugs!

  4. You have the capability to recreate ideas of any class in to some ecstatic creations, dear one! A bravo lady in all respects.\Metal Salutes/

    Rahul

  5. Yet another amazing and original post, Sofia! Enjoyed it tremendously! Much love to you and keep writing, my friend!
    Wishing you much happiness, love and wonderful happenings in the New Year 2013!

    By the way, as you know, my new YA Crossover fantasy/thriller, THE EARTH SHIFTER, is coming out tomorrow, 12/31/12. It’s very international and visionary/mystical, and it contains elements of Russian/Siberian/world history (all of which you may enjoy).

    I was wondering whether you’d be interested in becoming one of THE EARTH SHIFTER’s first reviewers? I’d be truly honored… I am presently looking for speedy reviews to complement the release.

    This is the latest post with details/synopsis/characters/setting, as well as excerpts galore for your information: http://ladaray.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/the-earth-shifter-epic-journey-begins-on-123112/.

    If you are interested, please email me @ jade.snow at yahoo and I’ll send you a free Smashwords coupon, which allows book downloads in any format of your choice. (I’ll also duplicate this via email.)
    By the way, I’ll also have a mega-giveaway with some very valuable prizes, which you may like, at http://ladaray.wordpress.com/.

    Cheers and all the best!

    Lada Ray :)

    • Dear Lada! I’m really honored…! Sure I will be an eager reviewer/commentor! ))
      It’s so cool your book is finally coming out, I’ve been checking updates and expecting it!

      My deep appreciation to you for spreading a good message about the True Beauty of Russian spirit and sharing our cultural and historical legacy with the world!..
      I wish your 2013 will be a blast year!
      All the luck to you, my friend!!!

  6. Hi Sofia, there’s a lot of universal wisdom in this post. Thanks for enlightening the world and sharing your true heart and spirit. Not only are you smart, gorgeous and loving – you are a wonderful friend! I’m so lucky to have connected with you. Happy New Year girl! Love, Maddy

    • We, the universal kids – united! ;))

      Maddie, you are awesome and your passing by my blog a couple of weeks ago, was actually a big turning point, seriously! :))
      I’m really happy we connected! <3
      Have great cozy New Year evenings, dear! Hugs!

  7. Hi Sofia, Truly awesome. I am amazed by the originality of the work. It is so unique and you have something for everyone to enjoy..gorgeous. Hugs and love!!

    Wish you a healthy and prosperous new year!!

    • Dear Sundeep, thank you soo much for all your kind inspiring words today! :)
      I really appreciate you visited and liked my content! Will keep it up!
      Many hugs and warm thoughts back!

  8. …staying true to what you want to write about…
    and if we do, all the words seem to flow easily onto the page because it comes straight from our hearts. <3

    …and we can see your beautiful heart here. thanks for sharing.
    Happy blessed New Year!

  9. A very deep and wise article! Reading it I had a lot of thoughts – both light and sorrowful. I think that relationship with parents is the most painful but the most important lesson in our life. And all our adult life depends of how we cope with it. Parents both love us and hurt us, and one day we must gain some wisdom to understand that all of it was for good!

    By the way, I think that it’s no need to limit the theme range only with relationship, cause after all everything is connected in this life!;) And now with the end of Kali-yuga, people are mostly interested in the questions of self-development!;)

    Thank you for a wonderful article, Sofia! After reading I have a lot to think about! But I think it’s the process that will gradually involve all people – we all are the creatures of love and light! We just need to remember that!

    • Thank you for the deep lovely comment, Dina!
      You are right, I’m myself very happy to see that people’s interest in subjects of self-development and spirituality is at extreme raise!
      Great! So we are on the right track! Yaay :)
      The category on my blog that gets the most hits per day is “Spirituality” !
      I’m so happy with my readers, they are very supportive and bring me wonderful enriching ideas each day!
      They gave me a great sign that confirmed I should write about the things I care the most – spirituality, awareness and esotery!

  10. I think that from this point of view the readers are the part of your creative process! And this is right! yes, it’s the influence of new epoch – people become wiser and deeper! And that’s great!;))

  11. Sofia, I’ve just re-read your post because I find your voice very comforting, genuine and wise. Between you and Rohan, I believe you guys have figured out the secret to stable loving relationships. Absolutely agree with you that first and foremost, have a stable and loving relationship with yourself through Source power and that infinite love will fulfill and sustain your whole life force and spirit. I love this valuable message you and Rohan share with the whole world. Thanks again for this valuable reminder!

    Truth be told, I’ve come to a crossroads and have decided to do something more fulfilling than modeling. Don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed for the opportunities and experiences, but I want to do more. Also it’s not an ideal lifestyle for me anymore. Too much traveling and unhealthy eating, drinking and partying. I’m bored of the whole scene and ready to grow beyond the superficial glamour and competitive “industry”.
    Thanks again for being so empathetic and assisting us along our soul’s journey. Much love and light my sister. – Maddy

    • Maddy, my dear sis.. I swear we have some telepathic wire with you since day one you passed by my blog!
      I somehow ‘saw’ you needed to get into the modelling career for a while just as a next step to something from even bigger domain.
      Your soul is lucky to get yourself such an amazing shape in this incarnation, and it’d be wrong not to share this beauty with people, because it’s aesthetic.
      But what’s even more beautiful is your soul inside.
      And now when one mission is done, another and bigger one follows – to share the beauty and knowledge of your spirit with the world.
      The world in the present new era needs souls like that and luckily so many are awakening!
      You, Rohan, Kozo, Sunny, Arlen, S_S India (Shubkhankar) and many more are like that. SO happy to get to know you guys!
      And thank you Maddy! <3

  12. Hey dear Sofia, thanks for your perspective, your precious words only confirm what I’ve already known. My heart’s no longer with my “job” because the excitement and passion has left, and it feels I’ve outgrown this endeavor.
    Like my loving Jesus says, seek and ye shall find. By chance I was researching and this video came up which reaffirms my decision. Watch it and let me know what you think: http://youtu.be/pE1Ei12Oxf0?t=2m58s

    I love you sweet sister, and appreciate your enthusiastic unwavering support. You’re a real Goddess! <3

  13. Great post, thank you !

    From the position of universal love, how do you describe unselfish vs. unconditional love ?

    • Hi Stefan, thanks for stopping by!
      I’d say that selfless love is when you are ready to love and give without expecting to receive anything in return,
      And unconditional love is loving everyone per se, without paying attention to their qualities, attributes, beliefs or even characters :) Without wishing to change anything in anyone and wishing them the best

      • Thank you Sofia,
        Somehow I have not grasp it yet.
        As with unconditional love, it seems also to include, not to receive anything in return, do you agree ?
        Whereas selfless love then may be with some condition, right ?
        Then selfless love could be a subset of unconditional love, is it OK to say so ?

        Also selfless love, even as it is a subset of unconditional love, may then sometimes be wiser to use, e.g. if you don’t allow a child to do something, which may cause harm to it ?
        In this case you express your selfless love to prevent harm. The child, on the other hand, may experience this completely different.

        I am trying to find out what may be better to use. When to use unselfish and when unconditional love.
        The “Children of the Law of One: The Lost Teachings of Atlantis” i.e. emphasize to practice unselfish love as the main key:
        “this book is really about identifying the real “disease” behind our personal and world problems, and the cure for it all – Unselfish Love”

        • Well, if we talk about terminology, i think then ‘unconditional’ love is a bit broader in meaning than unselfish…
          But i think in fact, unselfish and unconditional are rather interchangeable in meaning! :)

          If we love someone, can we choose what kind of love we want to love this person with?

          There are million other things in people’s relations masquerading as love, but in fact hide other intentions, manipulation and expectations.

          But the true Love is one, it’s just love… And the only true love is selfless and unconditional – you just love and expect no gain from it and set no conditions for the object of your love.

          You cannot love selflessly and put conditions, and you can’t love unconditionally and be selfish! :)
          ‘Unselfish’ is just a bit narrower in emotional perception of the word, but I do believe unselfish and unconditional are interchangeable and mean One love and True love! :)

          Regarding the book you mentioned, I couldn’t agree more on this “The cure for it all – unselfish love”!
          Here unselfish really means One love – Universal and Unconditional!

          • Dankeschön !

            “masquerading as love, but in fact hide other intentions, manipulation and expectations”:
            that’s the point I was looking for, thank you !

            I would like to use it also in affirmations like e.g. “I AM selfless love”

            So in relation to the book I understood that “unselfish love” is best, as it can not have any masquerading by my ego/beliefs/etc. is that true, does saying selfless bypass the ego/beliefs/etc ?
            Where unconditional might have some masquerading by my ego/beliefs/etc I feel.

            I recognized that in your first reply you used selfless instead unselfish, was there any reason ?

            I was not aware about that word, I am not a native speaker. I only translated unselfish into German and I got “selbstlos” which actually matches more “selfless”.

            For me “selbstlos”/selfless sounds more positive for using as affirmation then unselfish.

            “But the true Love is one, it’s just love…” I 100% agree
            Only, I am not free of masquerading by my ego/beliefs/etc. yet. I want to end my suffering from this.

            I am looking forward to your empath enlightened reply :-)

            • Dear Stefan,

              no no ‘selfless’ and ‘unselfish’ are completely similar in meaning! I just used selfless for diversity ;)

              But no, neither ‘unselfish’ nor ‘unconditional’ love are associated with any ego issues or hidden intents – both these terms imply loving someone purely, with no mask, no secret intentions, no conditions and no gain.

              Unselfish and unconditional are the same kind of love – high and pure and no, no masquerading anything.

              And loving someone selflessly and unconditionally is not something we can simply achieve in one day just by intending to love so!
              So don’t you worry, even those of us who try to open their heart to loving everyone as he/she is, are still not 100% ready to do so…
              Because for example if you love your partner selflessly, you must accept that sometimes he/she might do something that won’t be in your best interests, or something you won’t like – but this is the trick, even though we may not like the conduct of other people, we must not feel bitter or resentful when they don’t do things our way, because we agreed to love them unselfishly – without needing to constantly satisfy our Self.

              And when we agreed to love unconditionally – same thing – the one we love may leave us, do something we won’t like, or continue behavior we don’t approve.
              But we love unconditionally – no condition may alter our feelings.

              Idealistically it all sounds so good, but in practical life it takes years of spiritual growth, learning, wisdom and understanding till we are ready to really accept everyone as they are and love them with no ‘Self’ interest behind it and no conditional expectations.
              We are still learning!

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