~ The Day After ‘I Love You’ ~

 You love someone and your someone loves you back, but for some reasons you still keep those feelings private.

Women hesitate to open up first, because they fear that feeling might not be mutual, or worse – conveniently played upon.

We women are afraid to surrender too early and confess that we love to be conquered for fear of bewildering our hunters and getting them lose an ardor halfway.

Men keep their feelings to themselves up to a certain time, because they know that the ‘I love you’ phrase has implications.

A woman in love grows wings and feels like sharing her feelings with the world.

A man in love goes into reasoning and won’t open up until he’s done some thinking and made psychological peace with the idea of attachment consequences, unless he’s been consciously seeking a commitment, of course.

We may be in love with each other long time before we manifest it, but we are ready to speak up only when we know what the ‘I love you’ phrase implies for the significant other and how he or she will possibly take it.

When your heart is vacant, you are stray and enjoy running free.

But when you fall in love, it feels like you suddenly are not that happy to roam alone anymore, because you have spotted a place where you feel like coming for a shelter.

You swore you never needed to look back at anyone, because everything in the past is not worse regret and ahead there is a plenty of unknown adventures.

And now all of a sudden you have a place, where your thoughts constantly keep bringing you back.

And it’s with the person you love.

But how soon should you let know?

The one you love is the one who you feel like coming home for. So you feel ready to open up when your hunch says you may knock on that door and it will be open for you in return.

And then comes the day after ‘I love you’.

And the euphoria of a mutual disclosure will bring a next day of logic expectation that both of you must do something about your love, now that you both know.

Love comes unplanned. It’s a contagious virus that anybody anywhere can catch anytime. And love often happens to the most unprepared people in the most unexpected settings.

So no surprise if love stopped you for a moment and made you look back at the person you just passed by and let you know this is the one.

You’ll get a confirmation you are caught, because from that moment your thoughts won’t all be gathered around you anymore, you’ll find them running back to find asylum with that someone else.

 But are you ready to follow them and do anything about it, even though you know you should?

When a man falls in love, he knows that once he lets it show, he will eventually become responsible for that woman.

He will naturally take his time thinking and measuring and will confess only when he

–          is ready for a commitment, or is sure that there can’t be anybody more special to him than this particular woman.

–          afraid of losing her to someone else.
 For even if he is ‘not ready yet’, he knows well that others around her might eagerly be.

–          or is sure that she herself will take it smoothly and won’t want to rush the things.
Because love to a woman is often a synonym of a promise and an expectation.

Here is some example of a couple in love that are actually seeing each other, but are not ready for the ‘I love you’ consequences.

‘I am crazy about this woman and scared of losing her to someone else. Whenever I look at her, I’d burst with feelings on the inside, but on the surface I shut down and act all cool’, says 24 y.o. George about his crush of 1,5 years.

They have known each other for a while and just recently started dating.

His girlfriend is in love with him from long ago as well, but she also acts much cooler on the surface than she feels on the inside, because she is not sure if he actually loves her, or simply likes her around.

Both are still studying and working on their separate creative projects.

 All they know is that being around each other feels wonderful, but none spoke about the intensity of feelings yet. Because they are not catching up with the acceleration of their feelings that are crossing a speed limit of their other plans.

George keeps little meaningful souvenirs from her, like a scrunchy she left on a table, or a latte mug she drank from. His girlfriend listens to the songs he loves when home alone and snuggles his old t-shirt every time he is all over her mind.

They definitely feel the presence of something serious hanging in the air, but keep it the way like there is still more to say.

Until you vocalize your feelings, there is a thrill of expectation, the excitement of understatement and a hope that there is yet something bigger to uncover.

‘I love you’ puts an end to understatement season and suggests the opening to the main act that one in a couple might not be ready for yet.

Is that couple ready to actually be together? Probably. But togetherness may imply different things to each. He might simply be ready to tune others out and see her more often, and probably move in together some day. She, however, may take the togetherness plan way farther and start visualizing the season finale that ‘I love you’ traditionally leads to.

Love comes unplanned and makes us face the fact. It’s us that must accept that fact and start to think what we are possibly supposed to do about it.

There is no easier way to make a person happy than by letting that person know that he or she is loved. And no easier way to make a person miserable than by letting him or her know that even though you are in love, you are not ready to do anything about it yet.

Our love as a happening and a feeling is shared, but not necessarily our plans for the phase after ‘I love you’ phrase.

And so it’s probably easier to handle our feelings private in an exciting near-love intrigue than open up  and handle our unshared feelings about the day after ‘I love you’.


30 thoughts on “~ The Day After ‘I Love You’ ~

  1. Very nice post, it sounds like you are in love? But true love is more than a feeling, is mysterious, and can not be expressed fully with words. Spiritual masters, mystics say that love is a gateway to the divine, it’s giving you a magical taste, so your heart will always be open to the other. Love must be experienced fully, only then can you say you have truly lived! Thank you for sharing, and much love to you!

    • What the beautiful words!! :)
      I am in love :) and that’s the most beautiful and magical feeling one can experience, and not really a feeling but rather your divine state! :)
      Even though on a human level not everything goes smooth at times.
      Love definitely makes us better and connects us with the divinity and the other for a mutual enrichment and a further spiritual growth.
      Always be loved! And much love from me as well!

  2. Haha what a brilliant post, Sofia! I think you were right on every point up there ;-)

  3. Sofia,
    I wanted to like and comment on your about page, but I could not find a comments section, so I came here and read this beautiful post. I was just writing about the synergy between people and how I knew I was going to marry my wife before I met her in person, so your blog really resonated with me. I’m glad we could meet, and I look forward to more synchronicity.

    • Thank You dearly, my friend!
      I’m happy you could relate to the post!

      All I know by now is that love is a divinity and in spite of everything said about it, there are still many things to it to say…

      For every couple in love there is a hidden beautiful intent, this intent makes them meet, ‘recognize’ each other and engage into their mission together.

      How we know it – we read signs.
      But in love there is a divine level and a human level…
      Love comes to us a gift and what we do about it is up to us then. And something from above is watching us, helping, guiding and having fun <3

      • I love the image of something from above “having fun.” What fun it has been to find a like minded spiritual being like you, Sofia. All the signs say that we are headed for more fun.

        • You know, I’m noticing that these days especially after 21 December as if something clicked in the atmosphere and the like minded people that are concerned with spirituality and awareness somehow started finding each other easily and connecting immediately!
          It’s like one big family is gathering back together, really :)
          And we are definitely headed for more fun and magic happenings!

  4. Hello Sofia,
    Thank you so much for following my blog! Much appreciated! You have a very unique blog. It was my pleasure to find it! Wish you all the best in your future endeavours!

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  5. Thanks! :)) I’m really glad you visited, because that let me discover your great blog, on my part! :) You write on very interesting subjects! I’ll be checking out more, can’t wait to read everything :)
    Cheers and good luck to you! :)

  6. This is a shimmering analysis of love. I adore your take on things. My other half and myself both describe our meeting as love at first sight. However, we didn’t actually say it until many months down the road. Now, almost 10 years later, we are still together and share a beautiful son we created.
    Always follow your heart. :)

    • Oh I’m so happy for your guys! <3
      Always love and care for each other!
      And i wish every couple in love have a beautiful continuation of the core 'I love you' phrase :)

  7. Your post is wisdom beyond words. And congratulations – my wishes for your happiness. This is my first visit to your site and I wanted to thank you for visiting and following my blog. It is an honor I appreciate very much. You have a wonderful site and I will re-visit to read more of your posts.

    • Dear Paul, thank you for your touching words!
      It’s the best reward for every writer! :)
      I’ll be happy seeing you here again and will be visiting often as well :)

  8. The end of our quest to love is the beginning of days full of miracles. I guess those days start after “I love you” then. :-)

    Subhan Zein

  9. A wonderful post, my dear Sofia! I admire your ability to notice the things other people don’t put attention to and recite them so accessible! I found very deep thoughts in this post, I think that most of people are afraid of that very moment – the disclosure of mutual feeling, firstly cause of the fear of refusal and also because they simply don’t know what to do in case of mutuality:) It’s like you achieved your aim and now the “spoil” is yours:) it’s not interesting anymore. I think it’s the real craft to stay together after ‘I love you’, to feed the feelings with good treatment of each other, creating something together, planning the common future, coping with the difficulties together, and knowing each other better. I believe that soon people will know the ways how to develop and save their love!:*

    • You are my wise little sweetheart! What a beautiful deep comment! <3

      The feeling of love is a celebration, the day after 'I love you' is usually a hangover.. :)
      You wake up from the dream come true and you may simply not know what to do with it now that it actually came true… :))

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